Love IN a Battlefield – Stay on point

We all disagree.  Find a relationship where people never disagree and you’ll find either a relationship where one person dominates the other or two people who never interact.  It is the nature of being human that we have wants and needs.  Sometimes those desires conflict with our loved one and we argue, we fight.

However, it is all too common that we do not discuss (probably realistic to say argue!) about the issue at hand.  We reach back and pull out the stops.  It’s not about being rude to her friend or her forgetting to pick him up; it becomes about how she forgot to get the mail last week, how his brother has always been rude since they’ve met, how she never gets along with her friends and how he has never supported her job.  We start a disagreement and we bring up firestorm.  It is not fair, it is not healthy and it is not using your innerspouse.

Put yourself in their shoes – you don’t like it when an argument turns into every mistake you’ve ever made so why expect your partner to enjoy it?  It is too easy to fall back to old ways and digging up dirt and pain just because ultimately we are feeling pained by the disagreement.  But remember, this is not an enemy – it is the person you love.  By staying on the reason for the argument, you can quicker solve the issue, compromise and grow.  Stay on point and stay together.

Good life, good love,

 

CH & the IW

INvocation – Have some faith

Eloquently defined in Hebrews 11:1, faith is the “substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”  Faith is important in any belief system and equally necessary in relationships.

Faith is trusting without completely knowing.  It is hoping when all else says otherwise.  Now in relation to God, faith is never disappointed.  In relation to mankind and your relationship, people can let you down.  But it is that belief that puts you on your knees in prayer that keeps you positive about tomorrow.  It is that belief, that hope, that faith that bridges you to grace – love undeserved.  When you connect to something so much larger than yourself, the positivity and the calm you find resonates in your life and your love life.

So have some faith.  If such belief can be as small as a mustard seed and still move mountains, imagine what it can do for your relationship?

 

Good life ,good love,

CH & the IW

INsights – STOP Resolutions, Just Change

It’s 2012 and everyone has words of hope, opportunity and possibility.  These elements are greatly expressed in the form of resolutions – promises to do better and be more, promises to lose weight and to love better.  But there is one other thing people have in common besides making resolutions – breaking them.   We give up on our weight loss routines.  We stop going to the gym.  We let our saving attempts go and we stop trying to be better in love. 

Maybe it was listening to our partners.  Maybe it was asking out that coffee house girl.  Whatever the resolution was, we have let it go.  So that is why we say STOP.  STOP the resolutions.  STOP the empty promises.  Just change instead.  Need to get healthier?  Just change.  Need to get a better job?  Just change.  Need to love better?  Get an Innerwife or Innerhusband…and then just change.  Rather than talking a big game, play it.  Do it.  The time for words is over.  The time for action is here.  There is no action in resolutions.  So just change instead.

Good life, good love,

CH & the IW