MySpace or Yours? – Dealing with the Threat of Social Networks

Way back, before MySpace, Facebook and Digg, people still had affairs, inappropriate friendships and tangets outside their relationships.  But they had to work at initiating them and keeping them going.  There were secret meetings, lies about whereabouts and trench coat rendezvous in seedy motels.

Today, they simply log in.

Social Networks are an amazing aspect of the technological cornerstone we call the “Net.”  These sites allow for massive amounts of communication that was once inconceivable.  However, being that they allow for virtual communication, they are also havens for our fantasies.  They are locations for us to make friends and talk without our spouses present.  Social networks can start out as great sources of staying in touch to greater sources of just plain touching. 

We can be anyone we want on social networks: male or female, single or married, straight or gay, the list goes on and on.  Social networks allow us to create new lives if we want.

Now add into this mixture, discontent in a relationship.  Unhappy partners can be browsing, posting and suddenly talking to someone new.  GASP!  There’s the excitement we miss in our current relationship, there’s the adventure of someone exploring us and who we are, there’s the thrill of flirting that we don’t do or receive anymore, there’s newness! 

There’s danger.  Beyond the very real danger present when physically meeting strangers from social networks, there is the danger of falling in love with them over the wires (or wireless network.)  When stressors appear in relationships, the weeds of fantasy, infidelity and need creep up quickly.  They are further cultivated on social networks by those who detect your vulnerabilities and pounce. 

So, what can we do to protect ourselves?  Be self-aware.  Know when you’re vulnerable and keep a running check on what you’re saying online and to who.  Let that Innerwife or Innerhusband read with you the posts you’re making and comments you’re replying.  Be aware that there are traps out there and that it could happen to you.  Communicate with your spouse or partner about how you feel.  They very well may not know how hurt you are and how starving you are for love and attention.

Social networks are great (check out the Innerwife MySpace page and group) when they are a source for communication, advice, staying in touch and so on.  But, like anything and anywhere, they are places for the relationship scavengers to sniff out discontent in relationships and move in for the kill.

Forewarned is forearmed!

Good life & love,

Ch & the IW

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